Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Things I'm Afraid Of

So I realized, today that I'm a chicken, but when I talk about things that bother or scare me, it seems to make them better.  Here is a small list... They are silly and unimportant, but maybe putting them on here will help me out.  I'm scared of turbulence, take-off and landing, someone close to me dying in a tragic way, being alone at night in an apartment or house, dying too young, losing someone without the chance to say goodbye, my nightmares coming true, never having feeling in my toes again and mannequins, just to name a few. I'm sure there are other things, but its interesting what fear does to you, it paralyzes you in a way nothing else does. I even get scared when someone doesn't hit their breaks fast enough. I'm afraid of being alone, of never having children because of my Lupus, but what is the point of fear? Is it to help us appreciate what we have, or to help us live better lives, or to help us understand polar opposites better and feel more joy when it's there?

I believe that the purpose of fear is not only to help us understand life, but in the scriptures it says that there must be opposition in all things. Without fear, would we truly know what it is like to feel safe and happy? Probably not... Fear gives us something to overcome and when we do, we can say we've done it. We may still have the fear if we are asked to do it again, but maybe the next time it will be a little less scary and a little more able to bare. And I even have to admit, that I'm probably pretty funny looking when I get scared. In fact I probably look like that little guy. so I will just have to remember the humor in it all.

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